Elopement

      Studies show that kids with autism have a high rate of elopement. Huh... so does that mean that my boy has a good chance of running away to Las Vegas to get married without my knowledge? Golly wouldn't that be something!  "Elopement" is the stupidest word ever used in the world of autism, almost as bad as "Bored Housewife". Every time I see that word I cringe and roll my eyes, I hate that word!
    It's not so funny when elopement "happens" though. If I ever say that Tanner eloped last night I don't mean that he secretly ran off with a gal, I mean that he escaped home without me knowing. One minute he is here and the next minute he is down the street. Very distressing indeed!
    My little sneaky one started wandering when he was five. He slowly got away by crawling over dirt and rocks and asphalt to get to a mud puddle at the end of the cul-de-sac. Even turning my back on him for ten minutes could result in his escape and many possible dangers. Later he grew bolder and actually opened the front door and hobbled to a neighbors yard where he started drinking out of their birdbath. This was when our neighborhood was new and this house in particular was, and is, not very "open". I got my first and only "keep a better watch on your kid" lecture from the lesbians next door. Thanks for the tolerance gals... whatever.
    As soon as it became clear that "der sneak-meyster" was on the look-out to escape and see other people's TV sets , we drilled holes in all of our outside doors and put up hotel chains to keep them secure. This worked very well were it not for human error. If someone in the household forgot to chain a door then the boy was on the move. Except we wouldn't know he was gone until he was brought back by a well-meaning and smiling neighbor. Yes, after a couple of years, a few particular neighbors were used to the boy walking into their unlocked houses and commandeering their couch and TV. Sometimes they would find him sitting on their backyard trampoline or in their vehicle or in their garage. Oh the stories!
    Anyhoo, total and complete diligence every hour of every day tended to be impossible when the wanderer is smarter than was credited. When it was learned that Tanner could lift the chains off the doors, then we used ribbons instead of the chains because the boy couldn't undo complicated knots. Again we encountered the almost debilitating problem of tying and untying knots all day. Someone, some time wouldn't tie a knot (just for a minute) and off Tanner would go on his "walkabouts". 
    The problem is that we don't know what the cub can do until he already does it. So great appreciation and relief goes out to all my neighbors who have been such good sports over the years. Without these wonderful and understanding people all about me I would have checked myself into the loony bin long ago. I hope that Tanner and I are a source of amusement and good-hearted talk at their dinner tables.
    On a serious note though, there was one terrifying incident that happened one late, late night... I was driving home from work at 1:30 a.m.as I usually do. My heart jumped into my throat when I saw that the garage door was wide open, lights were on, and I knew that Tanner was long gone. In great hopes I searched the house, he was nowhere. I got on my daughter's bike and immediately, frantically pedaled to the neighbor's pond. My weak flashlight shone dimly in the pitch black and I tentatively called out his name, desperately praying that my light didn't fall on his face down body in the water. I was sick with fear. After a thorough search of the pond I continued down the road to the marshes where shallow water ran through tall weeds. While wading through the marsh out of my mind in desperation, car lights shown on me and a neighbor embraced me saying "we've got Tanner, he's on his way home"!
    While I was searching for him, my son had wandered farther than he ever had. He rang the doorbell of a house in the neighborhood, walked right in, flipped on their lights and sat on their couch. These folks didn't know who this strange boy was but they knew he was "special". They took a picture of this boy and sent it to other neighbors who recognized him, then they found me wallowing in the marshes. I was reunited with the love of my life as he obliviously walked down the sidewalk in someone else's shoes and someone else's coat.
Have I said how much I love my neighbors? I can never say it enough.