Don't Pretend That Your Life Is Normal

    I remember when I accepted that my son had issues, then I remember when I accepted that he would NEVER be normal. These were two different stages of my life. For the first four years I tried to change him and fostered the illusion that if I "therapize" him then he will catch up and be a normal boy. Early on, he was a perfect toddler because he didn't toddle and didn't whine. I took him on family vacations to Utah's National Parks, I took him to Mexico, Hawaii,and Disney. When he was small he was manageable, he had little tantrums that people understood.
    Later there came a time when he outgrew his cuteness. I will always remember the trip to Cancun. Tanner was four years old. We were on a plane and he had a super-duper meltdown because we had to shut down the DVD player upon landing. He screamed and screamed. People were staring as if they were witnessing a murder. Not one person had the class to look sympathetic. When the plane touched down we quickly whisked Tanner away in his stroller. Our harried and devastated appearance touched an airport employee's sense of compassion and he saved us. He led the way through customs and baggage retrieval and saw us quickly on our way. I will never forget him.The first truly good soul and, to this date, the only good "public" soul I have encountered in my world. Needless to say, the anticipation of the return trip ruined my vacation.
    The time had come when denial could serve me no longer. My kid was not only different, he was shockingly different. I learned that ordinary people can't deal with unordinary moments. Ordinary people are self-centered and terrified of things that they are not familiar with.I also learned that my cub was just as happy at home, with his things just the way they are. He didn't care about traveling to new and beautiful places. He didn't care about the turquoise ocean and the white sand and the sunsets. The vacation was all about me and my insistence that my family was normal. But it's not normal and I found that out the only way I could, the hard way.


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