The Best Invention Ever

    I like electricity and indoor plumbing and automobiles and cell phones, but they are just conveniences. There is only one thing in this modern world that I cannot do without and that is...Disposable Diapers!! FYI everybody poops. MY poops smell like roses of course, and I can flush it all away. All Gone, No Problem. I know where to do it and I know how to get rid of it.
    Still, I am acutely aware of poop and all it's properties. In fact, I think about it (strategically) every day. Poop is an important part of my life and I have to be a proactive part of the process. But it is not MY process that I am talking about.... I have this autistic son who knows about poop and where it comes from but has no interest in depositing it where it ought to go. In other words, my cub is totally dependent on diapers. I have tried to sit him on the Potty. I have asked him where his poop and pee come from and he points to the right parts, then he gags and flushes a clean toilet. To be candid, the boy simply doesn't mind sitting in his own crap. It doesn't cause HIM discomfort, it just causes ME discomfort because I know I have to wipe a 15 year old's butt. And it is not like I am gathering up pebbles of poop or a nice clean log of poop either, I am dealing with mud. Think about the properties of mud for a moment. Think how thick and clingy mud might be. Think how slick and gooey and.....ok, I will stop.
    I judge Tanner's diapers upon how many wipes I use. A ten wipe diaper is standard...A twenty wipe diaper means means too much laxative... a two wipe diaper means not enough laxative. This is how I determine the boy's intestinal health. Unfortunately or fortunately, I am in control of his bowels. Since the boy doesn't have enough gut muscle tone he relies on the right combination of laxative to keep things moving. So if I want him to have a complete blow out when he is with his dad then I can make it so...Just Kidding!
    I am just saying that disposable diapers are a really nifty invention because they are extremely effective and I can just wrap the unmentionable item up in a plastic bag and throw it away. ***note: all you environmentalists are welcome to live in my shoes for one week...***. Anywho, I am grateful that the boy is an "all or nothing" kind of kid. I have never had to deal with potty training accidents because he simply is not trainable and never will be. I have accepted that and therefore there is no poop on my carpet and no poop in my car and no poop on the couch because the glorious diaper contains it all.