When I began researching and trying to understand the characteristics of Autism I continually came across the word "non-verbal". At the time I jumped to the conclusion that not only could my son never speak but that he could be silent as well. However, by the time he reached four years old he was making a lot of sound, he was loud. The boy's vocal chords produced a nice healthy squeal or a scream but his brain wouldn't let him form words, thus his vocalizations formed no language but they had meaning. Depending on the pitch and urgency of his sounds I have figured out what he was saying. I learned a foreign language.
Tanner's "voice" is something that people have to get used to. Not only is it a meaningless sound to most people it is also very loud. I take him to big family dinners often and the reactions of family members is always interesting. Last week after dinner the ten of us were sitting around talking and the boy was vocalizing loudly as well. My sister asked me what he was saying and I told her that his sound at that moment meant that he was relaxed and content. His body language let me know that I didn't have to watch him closely or worry about a sudden change in mood. So we all talked OVER Tanner's loud vocalizations and the house was merry with conversation. I happily observed that all kinds of sounds were accepted by everyone. At one point the little kids started mimicking Tanner's sound and soon we had a house full of racket. Some time during the evening Tanner's sound started to change in pitch and tone. His body language became a little restless and a little rigid. Instinctively we all noticed the slight change in atmosphere and I declared that the boy wanted to go home. I asked him if he was ready to go and he pointed to the door. Within five minutes we were in the car.
By being in tune with Tanner's body language and his sound I avoided a potentially explosive screaming fit which would have put a damper on a lovely night. The less he is able to stew in his needs and wants the better. The boy will always give clues and indicators of his desires and if I pay attention to him I can almost always avoid a core meltdown. The language I have learned isn't taught in a class, it is honed by experience. And over the years I have noticed that all kinds of kids communicate in this way. Too often verbal expression doen't always convey true moods and feelings yet body language never lies. So try learning the language of Autism as a foreign language.
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